*sidebar* I'm sure at least one of you just said to yourself "Wait don't they all suck?" To you I say, "Thanks for reading!" *end of sidebar*
So instead, I decided go with the awards format...now I just need a name for the awards... Herbstreit calls his the Herbie's but I don't think the Cummi's are near as catchy...then it hit me, I'll just individually name each award...Brilliant!
George Brett Award (Best Performance by a Professional Athlete)
Nominees
Gil Meche
Eddie Johnson
Brian Bannister
Jared Allen
...and the #5 goes to....
Jared Allen. This was by far the easiest choice of all the awards. Gil Meche and Brian Bannister had nice years for the Royals. Eddie Johnson was MLS comeback player of the year for the Wizards. But no one can compare to the kind of year Jared Allen had on an atrociously bad Chiefs team. Like everyone else I was not very enamored with Allen coming into the season. I can never understand how rich professional athletes continue to get DUIs but that's another article. Besides, articles like this one from Joe Posnanski have been around all year talking about how Allen has cleaned up his act. That coupled with an amazing season (Leading the league with 15.5 sacks in only 14 games) and an even more amazing mullet gives him the award.
Danny Manning Award (Best Performance by a College Athlete)
Nominees
Chase Daniel
Todd Reesing
Michael Beasley
Jeremy Maclin
I know I'll probably catch a lot of crap for someone I missed, and for putting Beasley in there...but he's been pretty amazing so far averaging 25 and 13 as a freshman. Maclin, also a freshman was the most electric of the players but I think it has to come down to the quarterbacks. If this were an MVP award I think it goes to Reesing, in fact I think he'd be the MVP nationally, but there is no MVP award in college football and this won't be the first. You can't argue with Chase Daniel here, he was a Heisman finalist as a QB at Mizzou. He's made people almost completely forget what an amazing athlete Brad Smith was, and he led the Tigers to the Big 12 Championship game. For that he wins the award.
Dick Howser Award (Coach of the Year)
Nominees
Mark Mangino
Gary Pinkel
Kevin Ross
Curt Onalfo
Everyone knows what the top two on this list did, but let's not forget Onalfo and Ross. Onalfo led a sub .500 Wizards team to the brink of an MLS title (more on this later). Ross led the Brigade to a 7 game turnaround and their first playoff appearance. He was also named Coach of the Year in the AFL. But we all know this award comes down to Pinkel and The Fat Man. Like everyone else, I have to go with Mangino here simply because he did it with less talent. Pinkel gets his props later in the article, but Mangino gets the award.
Team of the Year
Nominees
Kansas City Wizards
Kansas Jayhawks Football
Missouri Tigers Football
Kansas Jayhawks Basketball
It may seem odd to have a team that went 11-12-7 in this argument, but the Wizards came just one game shy of a Championship, closer than any other KC team. Not even that is enough to upstage the season had by Gary Pinkel and his Tigers. There was no bigger story this year (maybe this decade) than MU/KU at Arrowhead and the Tigers won that game with relative ease. Honorable mention to the Kansas basketball team who has gone 35-3 in the calendar year with a Big 12 regular season and tournament title. A win vs. UCLA in the elite 8 probably wins them this award.
The rest of these are really pretty easy, so we'll skip the big introduction.
The OJ Simpson Biggest Story of the Year Award goes to KU/MU at Arrowhead for the Big 12 North. I'm amazed we didn't jinx this one with all of the hype...Game Day at Arrowhead for KU/MU football? This story may never be matched. The Isiah Thomas Worst Job in an Executive Role goes to King Carl hands down...which is nice in a way. Remember when Carl was the good executive in town? The Britney Spears Trainwreck Award goes to the entire Kansas City Chiefs organization, and I don't even think I need to elaborate. The Milli Vanilli Worst Impersonation Award goes to Brodie Croyle for his impersonation of an NFL quarterback. The Foot-in-Mouth Disease Award goes to Gil Meche for shutting up the national media and pitching like a pitcher that gets paid $11 Million a year. Don't let the win loss record fool you, Meche is worth it.
And finally, the Ice Cube Biggest Letdown in a Starring Role Award goes to Larry Johnson. Johnson laid such a turd this year that I wrote a rap song for him...since he bombed at that as well...
LJ LJ gotta get paid
But now LJ don't wanna play
Hangin out at the clubs with Jay-Z
You know big pimpin ain't easy
I ain't half as good as LT
Didn't stop Carl from payin me
Now I can make clothes with Jay-Z
Don't care if you call me lazy
Yeah, that may be awful...which makes it the perfect ode to piece crap year put together by LJ.
1 comment:
Carl also deserved the Isiah award because, like Zeke, he is utterly incapable of doing the job he was hired to do. Like Zeke, he's too full of himself to recognize that and do the admirable thing, and step aside.
And like Zeke, he's driven whatever last semblance of a loyal fan base remains to the edge of insanity. Especially this fan. And I wasn't that far from the edge of insanity to begin with.
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