Let me preface this by saying Fridays around here are going to be off-the-wall, from-the-hip, often irrelevant, but hopefully entertaining. For the today's inspiration I have to thank my brother's lovely girlfriend. Her family has a tradition that got me thinking. Yes, that's right, the Christmas Pinata.
What does this have to do with sports? Or even this blog? Well, I would never advocate violence, but it does seem kind of therapeutic to hang something from the ceiling and beat the crap out of it with a stick...which got me thinking...Who would I like to hang from the ceiling and beat...er...whose likeness would I like to hang from the ceiling and beat the crap out of with a stick?
Because he's fresh on my mind, my first thought was Bob Gretz. Why? His mailbag today just about made me puke. Check out Steve's blog later today for more thoughts on this, but I'm not so sure Carl didn't offer Gretzy a handle of Beam to let him write the mailbag for him this week. The downside to a Bob Gretz pinata is that the only appropriate filling would be booze and I'm afraid all of the bottles would break when they hit the ground.
Along those same lines, King Carl seems like a good candidate, but I'm not sure you could ever get a clean blow at him with his personal bodyguard and all. Besides, who's going to be excited when hair gel and false hope fall from the ceiling?
Thinking historically Lin Elliott, Steve Bono, Herk Robinson, Rickey Blownsavico, JR Giddens and Neifi Perez all seemed like good options. I also thought about trying to build a pinata for the entire Cardinals fan base, but I couldn't find enough hot air...then it hit me...the obvious choice...The Rocket.
A little background here, Roger Clemens just about struck me with an automobile in the mid 80s when I was just a young kid looking for an autograph. So I've never really been a huge fan. Then he went and played for the Evil Empire. Then came all of this prima dona "play half a season, don't travel with the team" crap...and now...finally...he's implicated in the Mitchell Report. Who was really surprised? He's the only player besides Bill Romanowski and Milton Bradley I've ever seen have Roid Rage on the field. Allegedly he was surprised, and his attorney is doing an "independent investigation" into the alleged steroid abuse. Question, how can his attorney do an independent investigation?
So the only question left was what to put inside of the pinata? Syringes? Seems unsafe. Sharded baseball bats? Again, maybe dangerous. I got it! Nothing. The same thing that the last ten years of his career are worth. The same thing, apparently, he has in place of dignity.
Who would you like for a Christmas Pinata? Post your suggestions below in the comments.
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3 comments:
I totally agree with the Bob Gretz pinata! He IS nothing more than a Carl Peterson puppet. He also is one of the reasons why one of my favorite football players is NOT in the HOF, Derrick Thomas. On the subject of Roger Clemens, I use to have a lot of respect for him,but now it is a little jaded. The Mitchell report names his name,but its not like anything real is going to come of this report. It is the word of a man who was already going to jail,he named names to get a better deal. What concreate proof do they have that he did do these things. He isn't going to get prosecuted, or suspended. It just seems like the whole Mitchell Report was to try and make it seem like MLB is trying to do something about steroids in baseball for congress. His lawyer making his own investigation is a joke! What is he going to uncover to absolutely clear his clients name to those of us who now believe that he did do these things? I really like this blog, I am from KC and will be visiting this often!
Carson Palmer and Thomas Jones are in my pinata. Stupid fantasy football.
I know he isn't a KC coach, and I know I'm like the only person in KC who gives a crap about the NBA ... but he's ruining my favorite franchise on a nightly basis ... and I already made a real life Mike Solari pinata for tailgating this year ... so I want my Christmas pinata to be isiah thomas.
And I want the first swing. With a tire iron or HHH's sledgehammer. Oh, and I don't want a blindfold on, I want to see the expression on his face when I raise that bad boy up and come slamming down on him ...
Congrats on the site. Looks good so far. Keep it up.
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