Sad Day for Funny

According to unsubstantiated reports, the funniest sports blog I know of took a big shot recently and may not be a blog much longer. missouritigers.com was an inspiration to bloggers everywhere...funny, witty and always highly entertaining. While it's still up I suggest you go through the archives, you won't be able to stop until you've read it all. On a side note, this entire thing could be a complete hoax, there's nothing this guy enjoys more than pulling people's legs...

In other disturbing news, according to the Star, if you don't get ESPNU you won't be able to watch MU/KU on Saturday night. This is absurd... I understand ESPN wanting to pump up it's new channel, but why the Big 12 allows it is beyond me...this game should be available to anyone in the area who wants to see it, and the conference's explanation (see Flanagan's article above) for why it isn't is deflating. If our conference leaders don't have any more backbone than that the Big 12 will always take a backseat to the SEC and Big 10.

I've mentioned Steve's blog a lot but the last week deserves mentioning again. His blog on the man tryng to block the Bannister Mall soccer complex is great, as is his Steroids rant. If you haven't been there in the last week you're missing something. I don't agree with him very often, but it's almost always entertaining.

Tomorrow brings the first Big 12 Report of the season and this weekend brings several changes to the face of KC Sports Report...make sure you check back often.

State of the Blog

People often approach me and ask 'How's the blog?' What I want to say is 'You tell me...' but I usually just reply that it's doing well or something to that effect...assuming those people still read the blog, this semi regular feature gives them a better answer.

According to my expectations the blog is doing exceptionally well. We've had over 1500 unique visitors in less than one month and already met most of our January goals. I'm still struggling to get people to comment publicly...no one seems to mind sending me an email or blasting me on a message board, but the comments section has gone largely unused...which isn't really that big a deal I guess. A few exciting facts from the first 3 1/2 weeks...

- We had over 500 visitors on 1/13 to read the KC Sports Report TV blog ( you can count on that as a regular Sunday feature now)

- The search engines are starting to pick us up! Someone googled 610 Sports firings and found us...another person googled Mike Solari firing and found us...and a few of the people that found us actually stuck around for a few minutes

- The Sports Report has been viewed in 10 different countries already

What does all of this mean? It's time to push forward...

More reader interaction... I'd like to see more than 25 votes a week in the polls

The links section will be overhauled in the next two weeks to be easier to read and more relevant.

February will bring major changes to the entire site, including (hopefully) a new writer and more legitimacy.

I'll be back with another report at the end of January to summarize the first full month and set a few more ambitious goals for the site. Hope you keep coming back to read because as George Brett would say "If you live in Kansas City you've got to be a fan of the Sports Report"...or something like that.

Jayhawks Roll

The Kansas Jayhawks continued to stake their claim as the best team in the nation last night with an 85-55 drumming of Oklahoma. The Jayhawks led 20-4 to start the game and really never looked back. Tough start to Big 12 play for the Sooners, getting upset by KSU on their court and then blown away by the Jayhawks...they'll have to pick up the pieces quickly to salvage the season.

You have to wonder if the KU players were tired of hearing about K-State and Mizzou's big wins on Saturday...and if they sent a message to both with one win. First, they made the Wildcats big first win look not near as big. Second, those Tigers that felt the momentum building for their matchup with Kansas on Saturday have to feel a little less excited about the prospects of facing this Jayhawk squad. But as impressed as I was with Kansas, there was something more impressive...

Monica, a 32 year old soccer mom with twins and a football coach husband finished the eliminator in two minutes flat last night. Why is this big? Besides the fact that she beat every other female competitor and clinched a spot in the finals? She broke the record for any gender! Monica beat every male that has competed thus far on American Gladiators. This and 200 pound Hellga flying through the air like Dumbo without the ears were definitely the highlights of the show...

Later today, The State of the Blog Report including an update on our January goals and plans for the future.

Don't forget the Wildcats

I wrote earlier this month(and even had a poll up) about people feeling like I gave too much credit to the Jayhawks, and not enough to Mizzou. In the interest of fair and balanced coverage, I think the Wildcats from way out west earned a little bit of hype this weekend...

First you have Michael Beasley scoring 32 and 11, not to mention the game winner with 2 seconds left, to defeat Oklahoma. Okay, that's big enough, now remember it's his first Big 12 game...his first Big 12 road game...It's games like those that make me look not quite so silly for predicting he'd win player of the year in the conference. Great start to the season for the Cats.

Then yesterday, a former Wildcat on a much bigger stage also put on a show. Former K-State running back Darren Sproles took a Philip Rivers pass 56 yards to the house to end the third quarter. His team the Chargers went on to defeat the Colts and will face New England next week in the AFC Championship. Sproles is the third back on the Chargers and usually nothing more than a kick returner, but with LT out he made the most of his opportunity yesterday.

So the Wildcats pretty much covered it this weekend. Mr. Everything doing everything in his first Big 12 road game, and the little guy that no one thought belonged in the league took his one chance to the house to knock off the favorites. It's a great day to be a Wildcat.

KC Sports Report TV

Some of my favorite YouTube videos that involve Kansas City Sports...There are ton out there so I pretty much just went with personal preference as the only qualifier...

I told you guys before I'm a bigger Joey Gathright fan than most, and if you like him even a little you've probably seen this ...if you haven't...take a look...

Speaking of me being a homer, Aqib had two signature plays this year, a record breaking 102 yard interception return and "the flip"...these are both great...

Here is the Hal McRae rant that I featured earlier this year...my favorite part is the end of the clip when the reporter comes out with the bloody face...nice work Hal...

Speaking of classics, here is a 7Up commercial from the 80s with George Brett.

The play-maker Jeremy Maclin in High School making DBs look silly...

Like I said, there are a ton of these out there and we may make this a semi regular feature...hope you enjoyed it.

Tigers fan couldn't be happier

The messages I received from Tiger fans yesterday ranged from "What do you think about those Tigers now?" to "NIT? Ha!" to "Want to revise those predictions now?"

I love it, Tiger fans had gotten to the point of apathy over the last few years, accepting their fate as a bottom rung team. I think it's fantastic that Mike Anderson had given them reason to hope again. I didn't watch the entire game yesterday ( I had a full slate, 3rd place in a volleyball tournament, kids birthday party at the bowling alley and my first perfect game on Wii bowling) but I do have some thoughts...

- I told you Texas would lose to a couple of teams they shouldn't in my Big 12 Basketball Preview. This game is as much and indictment of Rick Barnes as anything.

- I compares Mike Anderson to Mark Mangino earlier in the year...maybe I was being unfair to Anderson. Mangino spent his first couple of years almost winning games like this.

- As I watched the end of the game in the bowling alley I kept expecting Texas to come back and the Tigers kept holding them off. I'm not sure there's a team in the league with more heart...can you believe we're saying that about a Missouri team?

- Missouri's bench outscored UT 38-10, that's impressive

- Only one week to MU vs. KU #1 and now the Tigers have proven they can play with top tier teams...it may be a shoot out. Publish Post

Friday Funnies Faceoff

In a face off between drunk Chiefs "writers" who wins?

If you've followed this site at all, you know from time to time I like to reference fellow blogger Steve (pictured on the right) and if you've ever clicked on the link, chances are you've read about his anger towards Bob (pictured on the left). It seems Steve and Bob don't get along about much anything, so I thought I'd contrast the two of them.

Some of you may suspect that this will be slanted towards Steve because I once made reference to making a Christmas Pinata in Bob's likeness, or because Steve is a fellow blogger. I can't argue the pinata point, but Steve's not exactly my alter ego, for one thing he's a liberal ninny who trashes Bush, while I'm a reasonable conservative. For another he's a Herm backer...which is unbelievable...but anyways, this isn't a face off between Steve and I....on with the comparison...

Bob likes to drink (allegedly) large amounts of alcohol...Steve likes to drink large amounts of alcohol.

Bob works for a website that is anything but legitimate (see Rufus Dawes)... Steve "works" for a his own blog.

Bob defends Carl even when nobody could...Steve defends Herm even when nobody could.

They're both Chiefs homers that get drunk and trash the team and then later trash people who are trashing the team.

They both lament the 80s and fear that we're headed back in that direction.

You know what this is? This article is for Steve that moment in the cheesy movie where the father and son realize the reason they've been fighting for the last 5 years is because they're exactly the same. They hug, go have a beer and all past transgressions are forgiven. Steve is a young Bob Gretz, passionate about his Chiefs...drunk most of the time... ready to set the world on fire...but if Carl offered Steve a job paying six figures to report on the sidelines and write "articles" on the Chiefs home page? You don't think Steve would sit down with Carl, a glass of brandy and a lap top?

All Time Royals Nickname Team

I got such a good response yesterday to my Royals nicknames that I decided to do an all time team. This isn't the best team of Royals, so much as my collection of best Royals nicknames...some of them are funny...others mean... some players even had more than one nickname (which really aided their case in the selection process). I haven't been around as long as the Royals have so these are mostly more recent players...mostly....

Catcher- Jason "Pabst Larue Ribbon". This was tough, because a lot of people really liked John "Don't Give a" Buck. What put Larue over the top? Midway through last season he was hitting about a buck twenty, I was at the game, he started in place of Buck...a perfect storm for a new nickname really...especially considering I'd had a couple of "sodas" and Larue was 0-3 with a couple of Ks....Hence his award winning nickname Jason "LaBOOOOOOOOOO"

First Base- We've had Grimace (Ken Harvey), and Wally World (Wally Joyner)...and more recently Ross "No Need to Gload". But no one touched Steve Bye Bye Balboni. It may be pathetic that Balboni still holds our home run record with 36, but his legend will live on as long as he does.

Second Base- Way back in Royals history, no one even knew the given name of Cookie Rojas (Octavio Victor Rivas Rojas), which in itself makes it a fantastic nickname. And I was always partial to (Drunk Harry Carey voice) Mark Grudzzuzzzilannika, but the obvious fan favorite here is Esteban "Doesn't look German"

Shortstop- We've had two Angel's (Berroa and Salazar) and an Onix...but not a lot of good nicknames at this position. Last year's effort Tony "Pena in the Assa" and Tony "Pena Colada" were pretty weak in my estimation. So I reached back into my Worst Players in Royals history manual and pulled out Neifi Pop Up Perez...only in Colorado could he have hit 10 home runs in a season.

Third Base- George Brett never needed a nickname...he just didn't. But one player who couldn't help it was the Joker. No one has ever looked happier (or creepier) than Joe Randa at the plate...he mastered the Joker's smile and used it every time he came to the plate.

Outfield- One of these spots was reserved from the start for Bo Jackson...maybe the most recognizable nickname in sports for a while...Bo Knows Nicknames. If initials counted then A.O. would have to make the list as well, but they're initials...not a nickname. David The Jesus is one of my favorites, but I hate to offend the religious right. With that, the winners are Emil Clemente and Daryl Motely Crue (thank you Al Michaels).

DH- This is a sore subject, but easily the winner is The Hammer.

Starting Rotation-
Gooby
Wacky Zack Greinke
Ape
Flash Gordon
Odalis "el pedazo gordo de la mierda" Perez

Closer-
Rickey Blownsavico

Manager-
Tony "Milk and Cookies" Muser

(re) Introduction to a Kool Aid Drinker

For many of you who read the Sports Report back in 2005 this article may be unnecessary but I know there are a lot of you who didn't so I thought I should explain exactly who the Kool Aid Drinker is. First I went through the archives and found these three articles that sum up a lot of who he is. Click here for a mid season 2005 article, or here for 5 things he hates about the Yankees or here (scroll down halfway) for an article on why the Royals must draft Awesome Alex Gordon.

Regardless of whether you read those or not, the first thing you must know about the Kool Aid Drinker is that he is universally (often foolishly) optimistic concerning his Royals. If you know the Royals recent history you know that also means he's generally wrong. Hopefully Dayton Moore is ready to help him look a lot smarter though. Other quick facts...

- he almost always refers to himself in the 2nd or third person...and he's trying to figure out how to use the 4th
- George Brett is his hero...followed by Dick Howser, Frank White and Quiz
- Speaking of Frank, he thinks that Frank and Pete Rose are the two most most heinous exclusions from Cooperstown
- He believes Alex Gordon will never leave Kansas City
- He loved the Gil Meche signing...and pretty much every other thing Dayton Moore has done
- He' thinks Joey Gathright is a lot better than everyone else does
- He hates the Yankees...and the Cardinals...and most of their fans he's not fond of either
- He thinks Albert Pujols is 47...and Big Mac injects him before every game

That's enough for now. His thoughts on this offseason?

1. Roger Clemens is a fraud. If the Kool Aid Drinker were a black man he'd cry racism over the way baseball has handled Giambi and Clemens vs. the way they've handled Barry. And the Kool Aid Drinker hates it when people cry racism.
2. Jose Guillen doesn't seem like the kind of guy that's worth $36 million dollars, but the Kool Aid Drinker trusts Dayton. For that reason alone, the Kool Aid Drinker expects big things out of Jose Guillen.
3. It'll be really sad if Mike Sweeney's career ends like this. He's a first ballot Royals Hall of Famer and the first Royal the Kool Aid Drinker's son ever cheered for. If he does retire, expect a long ode from the Kool Aid Drinker. This article from last month in the Star gives the Kool Aid Drinker hope though.
4. All of these foreign names are going to make the Kool Aid Drinker's annual nicknaming of the team very difficult. In case you're wondering, he nicknames every player at the start of the year and then tries to make the names household...a few gems from last year... Esteban "Doesn't Look" German.... Jason "Pabst Larue Ribbon"... John "Don't Give A" Buck.

Before I finish up, one last thing, the Kool Aid Drinker loves to make predictions, and they're generally bold. It's January, so I'll hold off for now but expect some serious prognosticating come March. This column will return once in February at the start of Spring Training, twice in March and then weekly once the season begins...hopefully by then Dayton Moore will have one more starter signed.

Randomness

I had no idea what to write about today, but I'd promised something new every day... so I'm stealing from the headlines in the left column today...

1. I watched Ohio State and LSU last night and I'm not certain how anyone can say we definitively found our National Champion. Which leads me to Joe Posnanski's article today in which he picked his own champion based on reader votes. He argues that his champ (Missouri by one vote over Kansas) is every bit as legitimate and it is hard to argue. Could Missouri or Kansas play with LSU and Ohio State? Certainly with Ohio State, probably with LSU. This leads me to the final AP poll with Mizzou 4th, Kansas 7th and Oklahoma 8th. How in the world can you rank those teams? There isn't an argument one that makes any sense at all for any of the three of those teams to be ahead of the other. By the same token, does #2 Georgia or #3 USC deserve to be ranked ahead of Mizzou? What about #5 Ohio State over Kansas? This is why the entire system is absurd. An 8 team playoff would have answered all of these questions and given us a true National Champion.

2. Aqib Talib and Anthony "Mama gotta eat" Collins are going pro. No surprise and I hope they're drafted highly....but I'm worried about Collins. He was not impressive in his last two games as a Jayhawk, hope that doesn't knock him out of the first round.

3. K-State held Savannah State to 25 points last night...and yes, it was a men's game. I've heard a lot already about how terrible Savannah State is...and they are, but still...25 points? One field goal in the second half? This isn't a 1-15 team, they've won 8 games...they've played Wisconsin, Marquette, Nebraska and haven't been held to 25 points below 30....and it's not like this was just a low scoring game, the Wildcats put up 85! Four of the Tigers opponents haven't even scored 60, and that was the Wildcats margin of victory. Even in an exhibition game, you have to be good to beat someone by 60...now if they could just carry this over into Big 12 play my Big 12 Preview may not look so silly.

4. And the best for last, it looks like DA may be heading to Florida...I hope he sticks around long enough to fully recognize how horrible Roger Twibell is on the radio. It's atrociously bad sports talk. It reminds me of listening to the Harrisonville Wildcats football broadcast...which makes me wonder, has 610 Sports realized this yet? As much as we criticize Herm and Carl for the Chiefs failures, whoever is making the personnel decisions at 610 Sports should be canned.