(re) Introduction to a Kool Aid Drinker

For many of you who read the Sports Report back in 2005 this article may be unnecessary but I know there are a lot of you who didn't so I thought I should explain exactly who the Kool Aid Drinker is. First I went through the archives and found these three articles that sum up a lot of who he is. Click here for a mid season 2005 article, or here for 5 things he hates about the Yankees or here (scroll down halfway) for an article on why the Royals must draft Awesome Alex Gordon.

Regardless of whether you read those or not, the first thing you must know about the Kool Aid Drinker is that he is universally (often foolishly) optimistic concerning his Royals. If you know the Royals recent history you know that also means he's generally wrong. Hopefully Dayton Moore is ready to help him look a lot smarter though. Other quick facts...

- he almost always refers to himself in the 2nd or third person...and he's trying to figure out how to use the 4th
- George Brett is his hero...followed by Dick Howser, Frank White and Quiz
- Speaking of Frank, he thinks that Frank and Pete Rose are the two most most heinous exclusions from Cooperstown
- He believes Alex Gordon will never leave Kansas City
- He loved the Gil Meche signing...and pretty much every other thing Dayton Moore has done
- He' thinks Joey Gathright is a lot better than everyone else does
- He hates the Yankees...and the Cardinals...and most of their fans he's not fond of either
- He thinks Albert Pujols is 47...and Big Mac injects him before every game

That's enough for now. His thoughts on this offseason?

1. Roger Clemens is a fraud. If the Kool Aid Drinker were a black man he'd cry racism over the way baseball has handled Giambi and Clemens vs. the way they've handled Barry. And the Kool Aid Drinker hates it when people cry racism.
2. Jose Guillen doesn't seem like the kind of guy that's worth $36 million dollars, but the Kool Aid Drinker trusts Dayton. For that reason alone, the Kool Aid Drinker expects big things out of Jose Guillen.
3. It'll be really sad if Mike Sweeney's career ends like this. He's a first ballot Royals Hall of Famer and the first Royal the Kool Aid Drinker's son ever cheered for. If he does retire, expect a long ode from the Kool Aid Drinker. This article from last month in the Star gives the Kool Aid Drinker hope though.
4. All of these foreign names are going to make the Kool Aid Drinker's annual nicknaming of the team very difficult. In case you're wondering, he nicknames every player at the start of the year and then tries to make the names household...a few gems from last year... Esteban "Doesn't Look" German.... Jason "Pabst Larue Ribbon"... John "Don't Give A" Buck.

Before I finish up, one last thing, the Kool Aid Drinker loves to make predictions, and they're generally bold. It's January, so I'll hold off for now but expect some serious prognosticating come March. This column will return once in February at the start of Spring Training, twice in March and then weekly once the season begins...hopefully by then Dayton Moore will have one more starter signed.