All Time Royals Nickname Team

I got such a good response yesterday to my Royals nicknames that I decided to do an all time team. This isn't the best team of Royals, so much as my collection of best Royals nicknames...some of them are funny...others mean... some players even had more than one nickname (which really aided their case in the selection process). I haven't been around as long as the Royals have so these are mostly more recent players...mostly....

Catcher- Jason "Pabst Larue Ribbon". This was tough, because a lot of people really liked John "Don't Give a" Buck. What put Larue over the top? Midway through last season he was hitting about a buck twenty, I was at the game, he started in place of Buck...a perfect storm for a new nickname really...especially considering I'd had a couple of "sodas" and Larue was 0-3 with a couple of Ks....Hence his award winning nickname Jason "LaBOOOOOOOOOO"

First Base- We've had Grimace (Ken Harvey), and Wally World (Wally Joyner)...and more recently Ross "No Need to Gload". But no one touched Steve Bye Bye Balboni. It may be pathetic that Balboni still holds our home run record with 36, but his legend will live on as long as he does.

Second Base- Way back in Royals history, no one even knew the given name of Cookie Rojas (Octavio Victor Rivas Rojas), which in itself makes it a fantastic nickname. And I was always partial to (Drunk Harry Carey voice) Mark Grudzzuzzzilannika, but the obvious fan favorite here is Esteban "Doesn't look German"

Shortstop- We've had two Angel's (Berroa and Salazar) and an Onix...but not a lot of good nicknames at this position. Last year's effort Tony "Pena in the Assa" and Tony "Pena Colada" were pretty weak in my estimation. So I reached back into my Worst Players in Royals history manual and pulled out Neifi Pop Up Perez...only in Colorado could he have hit 10 home runs in a season.

Third Base- George Brett never needed a nickname...he just didn't. But one player who couldn't help it was the Joker. No one has ever looked happier (or creepier) than Joe Randa at the plate...he mastered the Joker's smile and used it every time he came to the plate.

Outfield- One of these spots was reserved from the start for Bo Jackson...maybe the most recognizable nickname in sports for a while...Bo Knows Nicknames. If initials counted then A.O. would have to make the list as well, but they're initials...not a nickname. David The Jesus is one of my favorites, but I hate to offend the religious right. With that, the winners are Emil Clemente and Daryl Motely Crue (thank you Al Michaels).

DH- This is a sore subject, but easily the winner is The Hammer.

Starting Rotation-
Gooby
Wacky Zack Greinke
Ape
Flash Gordon
Odalis "el pedazo gordo de la mierda" Perez

Closer-
Rickey Blownsavico

Manager-
Tony "Milk and Cookies" Muser